


Corresponding Parts of Similar Triangles are Similar

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Letting someone use you, Multi, im a sucker for the lalondes being really close to john im sorry, why cant i write happy things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-11-29 23:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which John isn't quite Jake but he's close enough for Dave, and John will take what he can get.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Corresponding Parts of Similar Triangles are Similar

**Author's Note:**

> wow okay so this is my first work here pls like it <3333 all of the hearts  
> i tried  
> im really sorry my title sucks ugh  
> relations go as follows:  
> roxy and rose lalonde are full siblings  
> then dirk and dave strider are full siblings  
> the lalondes and striders are half siblings bc they all have the same mom
> 
> then  
> john and jane egbert  
> then jade and jake harley  
> the egberts are cousins with the harleys
> 
> the end  
> (btw formatting is a BITCH wow)

BEGIN FUTURE-FLASH.

==> Be the heart-broken boy.

You are now the heart-broken boy.  
Your name is John Egbert and you almost can’t see through the tears in your eyes.

==> John: Pester Rose.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 02:14 --  
EB: rose?  
EB: rose wake up.  
EB: i know it’s late and i’m sorry for waking you up, alright?  
EB: rose.  
EB: ...  
EB: i need someone right now.  
EB: i just...  
EB: i wasn’t honest with you about dave and i, which you probably already know.  
EB: i thought i could handle it but  
EB: i  
EB: jesus rose PLEASE WAKE UP!  
EB: i’m shaking rose i think i  
EB: i think i broke a while ago and i’ve just been ignoring it.  
EB: i can’t do this anymore but i have to.  
EB: i know you’re thinking “no he doesn’t he just feels obligated blah blah big words”  
EB: but you’re wrong okay???  
EB: i really have to because i  
EB: ........  
EB: i love him rose.  
EB: but that’s really the worst excuse isn’t it?  
EB: “i love him” says john as he weeps his eyes out all over his laptop because he’s been slowly ripping his heart out for seven months now.  
EB: if it were you or jade someone would have to hold me back because i’d probably rip whoever it was to shreds.  
EB: because it’s really fucked up to use somebody.  
EB: to kiss them and touch them and whisper sweet nothings in their ear  
EB: to look them in their eyes and say i love you and mean ABSOLUTELY NONE OF IT!  
EB: but you know what’s worse than that?  
EB: to let them.  
EB: god i hate him SO MUCH but i hate me too, maybe a little more than i hate him.  
EB: because i let him do this to me.  
EB: i don’t even know who i am anymore.  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 02:23 \--

**\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 02:34 --**

TT: This had better be of utmost importance, John. I need my “beauty sleep,” as any woman of my age would dub it.  
TT: I’ll read your messages as I await your return. We cannot hope to discuss anything if I am not up to speed on your predicament.  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] is now an idle chum! --

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] is no longer idle!--  
TT: John, I’m so sorry.  
TT: I wish I had been awake for this.  
TT: Please answer me, John. I want to help you.  
TT: It’s only been thirteen minutes since you went offline — where are you?  
TT: I’m going to speak to Dave, and if he can’t inform me of your whereabouts I will take the first flight to Texas and find you myself.  
TT: Don’t do anything reckless. Please.  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 02:44 --

==> John: Explain what's going on.  
You can no longer be John because we do not know where John is!  
==> Fine. Be Rose.

 

Your name is Rose Lalonde and it’s nearly four AM but you have never been more fully awake, nor have you ever been more angry.

==> Rose: Find out where the hell John is.  
Gladly.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 02:44 --  
TT: Dave, wake up.  
TT: I don’t have the time to wait patiently for you to awaken from your sleep. It would seem that your self-indulgent recklessness has caught up to you.  
TT: Wake up, David.  
TT: I will not stop until you answer me, and that’s a promise.  
TT: Wake up right now.  
TT: David Elizabeth Strider.  
TG: jfc rose what  
TG: its like three in the goddamn morning over there shouldnt you be doing a ritual or something  
TG: sacrificing some virgins  
TG: maybe even reading some good ol fashioned wizard yaoi on ff.net  
TT: Shut up David.  
TG: damn sis  
TG: did the stick drive ever so slightly farther up your ass  
TG: do you even feel it anymore  
TT: I don’t care for your incessant rambling right now.  
TT: Where is John?  
TG: probs in the bathroom or something idk  
TG: why  
TT: Are you sure?  
TG: no thats just a guess  
TG: hence the idk tacked right onto the end of the statement  
TG: thats an acronym for i dont know fyi  
TG: the more you know  
TG: seriously though why does it matter  
TG: you cant have a therapy session with him at this time of night  
TG: or can you  
TG: do i need to stage an intervention rose  
TG: rosaline we are here because we love you  
TG: then youll be like  
TT: Look for him.  
TG: jeez rose way to cut a guy off  
TG: fine ill check ok???  
TG: hold on a sec  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] is now an idle chum! --  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] is no longer idle!--  
TG: hes not here  
TG: rose how did you know wth  
TT: Goodbye David.  
TG: wait what  
TG: where are you going  
TT: To clean up your mess.  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 03:13 --

You’re pretty sure you are about to burst with nervousness.

==> Rose: Wipe your tears away.

What tears? You aren’t crying, don't be silly. You’re looking into flights to Texas.  
Lalondes don’t cry.

END FUTURE FLASH. GO TO THE BEGINNING.


End file.
